Blogacide

Okay, you have to stop by Blogacide and check out the suicide note generator. It is so wrong, and so funny all at the same time. This is my "political" suicide generated note. Great find there Derek.


September 4, 2006

Dear "World";


Pursuant to an online suicide petition I electronically signed prior to this election, I must kill myself. Unfortunately, my views lost at the ballot box. With a clearer mind, I see my beliefs weren't exactly worth dying for, or even moving to Canada over. Actually, the goals and ideals I have for a society can still be achieved even though the election didn't go how I wanted it to.

Nevertheless, I did affix my e-signature to that e-suicide petition and made my life conditional on the outcome of this election. Maybe a death ultimatum wasn't the best way to convince the electorate that my choices were the most environmentally sound, economically prudent and altruistically just. Or maybe those cocksucker voters just wanted to see if I really would do it.

Obviously, In hindsight, a status quo TV ad calling someone a communist heroin addict who drives pre-teens across state lines to get abortions would have swayed more votes. In any case, I knew what I was doing when I briefly scrolled the Terms and Conditions box, checked 'Accept', clicked on 'Submit' and digitally added VinnieG to that suicide database. I had visions of grandeur. I still remember the picture of that Vietnamese monk on fire and thinking 'How fucking cool is that?' But I guess protesting the illegal invasion of your country, protecting a thousand year old culture and trying to prevent the slaughter of your fellow citizens, is probably a more noble cause to die for than anything that will ever find its way onto a ballot.


If only I had realized that prior to Tuesday,


VinnieG


P.S. I hope all that jesus and god and heaven bullshit is real.