Cafe Conversations

Okay, picture it. A late sixties woman in a faux fur coat (I know it was faux because the huge pin she had on said "Real People Wear Fake Fur"), Harry Potter-esque glasses, and a macrame shirt comes to the counter.
Lady: I want a coffee.
Me: Okay, do you want the Large size? (meanwhile I hold up the large cup so she can see the size).
Lady: No. . .
pause
pause
Me: Okay, what size then?
Lady: Regular
Me: We have small and medium as well. (I place both cups in front of her. All she has to do is point to one).
Lady: Regular size
Me: Which one of these two would you like? (I point to the cups right in front of her)
Lady: The regular size.
Me: (Giving up I pour her the medium one. What the hell, why not, it is right in the middle so that should be regular right?)
Any cookies today with that.
Lady: No
Me: Okay, that'll be $1.85
Lady: Is this decaf?
Me: No, its the regular
Lady: Why would you give me regular? I need decaf. I can't have regular coffee. Are you trying to give me a heart attack. And that cup is too big. I want the small one. Who can drink that much coffee?

Oh yes, that is the stuff we get to deal with everyday. If you get a cranky barista, please be understanding.