Dear Plant Thief,

Dear Plant Thief,

You are a disgusting piece of sh*t. How dare you come onto my porch and take the ferns and potted plants off of it. Who the hell do you think you are? I'll tell you who you are, you are a piece of trash and people like you are what is wrong with this country. You think that just because you want something you have the right to take it without doing the work or putting in the effort. This is your version of the American Dream and you are a complete waste of flesh. Here is an idea for you; work for something. Get off of your lazy ass and actually go out and accomplish something for yourself instead of leeching off of those who are actually working and trying to accomplish something. You, and everyone like you, disgust me.

Sincerely,
VinnieG

Barefoot Blogging: Lemon Herb Mushrooms

Yeah, I realize that the actual recipe is butterflied chicken but we "don't eat no meat" around here. What I did realize is the lemon rub for the chicken would taste great on portobella mushrooms. For the two of us I halved the amount of rub so I mixed half a quarter cup of herbs (instead of all rosemary I did half rosemary and half lemon thyme), 2 garlic cloves (more than half but what the hell), 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest, a little less than 1 Tbs of lemon juice, 2 tsp olive oil and some salt and pepper in a small bowl. I then took the gills off the underside of 4 portobellas and rubbed the mixture in really well while I preheated the oven to 425. before popping the mushrooms in the oven I put some Parmesan cheese over the top and bake about 12 minutes until the cheese was nice and melty. I whipped up some mashed potatoes and green beans and dinner was served.
The lemon rub did go very well with the meaty mushroom. I just wish I had put more cheese on the mushrooms

The Grossest Thing You've Eaten

What is the grossest thing you've eaten? I was having a conversation with a coworker the other day and she was curious about the stuff I ate as a kid. She comes from a typical white bread all American family while I have a hardcore Polish family. I was telling her about some of the different foods we used to eat when I remembered the awful, horrid, disgusting pickled pigs feet. Oh yes, I have eaten a pickled pigs foot as a child and it still reigns as the number one most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. Of course my grandparents wouldn't agree. They thought that it was the best snack ever. I can remember then with a jar just snacking on them while watching T.V. like you would popcorn. I don't think I would have actually eaten one on my own. It took my brother telling me that they actually did taste like candy but you had to eat the whole thing to get the full flavor to actually get me to eat one. Ugh, the memory still makes my stomach clench a little.

Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? Why haven't I been cooking? Why has poor Chris been eating only pasta for the past week or so? It is all because of an insidious game called Overlord. I am totally addicted to this game and have been playing it instead of doing other things. What can I say, being an evil overlord and master of minions appeals to me. I am sure that soon I will have completed the game and I will be back on track.

Garden Fresh Tomato Salsa

I have a ton of Roma tomatoes growing in the backyard. I mean a whole ton of them. I also had a few red hot jalapenos growing so I finally decided to make salsa today. I was able to use only ingredients from my garden (except for the onion). When I first tried it I couldn't quite place what was different about it until I realized that was because it was fresh. What a difference real, fresh tomatoes make.

Ingredients:
1 lb roma tomatoes diced
1/2 white onion diced
7 cloves garlic chopped
1/2 bunch cilantro chopped
2 jalapenos, seeded and chopped
juice of 1 lime
salt and pepper to taste

Put all the ingredients in a blender and grate.
That's it! Easy peasy! And yes, I do realize this is more of a pico de gallo than a salsa but whatever.

The Omnivore's Hundred

There is an interesting "game" about food that I read about over at Chocolate and Zucchini. The game is easy, just visit Very Good Taste and
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.
For directions on how to edit the html to bold or strike out text visit W3 Schools for free quick references on tags.
1. Venison, ugh, hate it!
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare, too not cooked
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding, my grandmother told me it was "rea"Lreal pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp way too much of that. My parents love fishing
9. Borscht, a Polish staple
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho, I LOVE this stuff
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart, and got food poisoning from it
16. Epoisses-don't know what it is
17. Black truffle-I Wish!
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes raspberry, peach, and plum wines
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream-hate it
21. Heirloom tomatoes-love to grow my own
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras-too cruel. ..even for when I did eat meat
24. Rice and beans- a NM staple
25. Brawn, or head cheese-again, conned by my evil Polish grandmother.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda-what is this?
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi-HUH?
34. Sauerkraut-love this stuff!
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O-well duh, I did go to college
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects-I hear they are good coated in chocolate
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk-ugh, nasty
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini-I prefer vodka though
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads-again, the whole ethnic thing
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs-didn't taste like chicken to me
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis-oh HELL no
69. Fried plantain-just made them for the first time last month
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini-meh
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie-lived on these as a kid!
78. SnailI actually used to LOVE escargot. . .especially with a lot of garlic
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky-I eat these by the dozens!
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash-My Irish grandmother made this way too often
88. Flowers-again, just recently I added flowers to a salad
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish-I despise catfish!
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake-tried it on a dare when I lived in NM

I have actually eaten more than I thought! How did you do?

Book Group: Serve the People

So what do you think of the book? I enjoyed the first part where she made friend with Chairman Wang and went to cooking school. It is hard to imagine a cooking school where your really don't cook much, though. I also find the difference between our current trend of celebrity chefs and the way chefs are viewed in China. I think it is similar to how we were 50 years ago in the States. Cooks made the food and it better be something traditional and familiar. Now we fall over ourselves for something different. So how long, do you think, before we see the rise of the Chinese celebrity chef (in China, not here.)

What disturbed me, being a former server, is the way the help is treated. I have a question for anybody who has ever waited tables. Can you even imagine having to live where you work and only making $100 a month? Shoot, I remember at the one restaurant I waited tables at we were upset if we didn't make $100 a night. Now I know a lot of servers in the states feel like they get disrespected a lot (trust me, there are a lot of jerks out there who do not realize that their female servers aren't on the menu) but at least our term for wait people isn't a synonym for prostitute.

Whew, now that I am off of that soapbox for a moment I can actually talk about the author. My thinking is that she had this book deal lined up, or at least the idea for the book, in her mind when she went about apprenticing with the various characters in the book. Although if I had the means and the time I wouldn't mind doing what she did and actually working with someone who specializes in their field. I think I would love to work with a pastry chef. Not one of those special occasion cake makers but someone who works in a smaller medium creating those desserts you see on T.V. If you had the means and the time who would you apprentice with? What would you most like to learn?

Weekend Recipe Roundup

It is another Saturday already. Where does the time go? Now I understand what my grandmother used to tell me when I would want Christmas to hurry up and get here. She used to say "Just wait until you get older, you'll wish time would slow down." It finally makes sense. Anyway, there is a new blog in my cooking blogroll called Oatmeal Cookieblog dedicated to peanut butter cookies. Naw, I'm just kidding ya'll. It is dedicated to the joys of the oatmeal cookie. D. will be most happy to know that he does have non raisin versions of the cookie.


Chocolate and Salted Caramel Cookies from Oatmeal Cookieblog
Cauliflower, carrot, cumin, and chickpea soup from Albion Cooks
Grilled summer vegetable and mozzarella polenta stacks From Prudence Pennywise (who always has the most amazing recipes)
Spring Pea and Asparagus soup from Columbus Foodie

Frugal Friday: Spinach and Mushroom Wrap

I love my wok! It is a fantastic tool to cook a wide variety of different foods in a wide variety of ways. I used it today to make spinach and mushroom wraps. It can actually hold all of the spinach that I needed to wilt for this recipe without the spinach flying everywhere. So for my Frugal Friday entry here you go. . .

Ingredients:
1 lb spinach 1.99
10 oz baby bell mushrooms 1.49 (with a coupon!)
6 10in tortillas 1.50
shredded cheddar cheese 2.50
2 tbs olive oil (staple)
4 cloves garlic (staple)
6 Tbs salsa (leftover in the fridge)
Total cost= $7.48

Directions:

Heat the olive oil in a wok or large pan on medium high heat and add the garlic. When the garlic is fragrant add the mushrooms and cook about 3 minutes stirring often.

Turn the heat down to medium and add the spinach. Lightly wilt the spinach (about a minute). You don't want to cook it too much so that it looks like that glop that comes out of a can.

Layer the spinach and mushroom mix on a tortilla and top with cheese and a tablespoon of salsa and wrap it up like a burrito.

I got 6 good sized burritos out of this. It makes a great picnic or lunch item and goes well with a fresh fruit salad or potato salad.

Barefoot Blogging: Panzanella

When I first saw this recipe I was a little lost. I had never heard of panzanella before. I had to Google it to figure out what it (since they didn't have a picture of it up at the Food Network site). That is how I learned that it is basically a leftover salad with bread as the centerpiece instead of greens. It is a great way to get rid of that stale bread that always seems to accumulate (at least around our house it does). I'm glad I Googled it and found out what panzanella was because I was slightly upset to see that Ina's recipe used bell peppers and we both hate bell peppers so then I realized I could pretty much use whatever I wanted and it would be fine. Instead of the bell peppers I used pitted Kalmata olives (about 1/2 a cup). I love Kalamata olives and I can't imagine a salad without them (even a bread salad). In addition to the olives I tossed in some crumbled blue cheese and some chopped up sun dried tomatoes (not the kind steeped in oil; the dry kind). If you live near a Trader Joes I would recommend getting the olives and sun dried tomatoes there. I found both ingredients there for about 1/2 the price of the local grocery store.

I do have to say that I loved the vinaigrette that she made for this. You can find Ina's recipe for panzanella here but if you aren't cooking it for a party or picnic you'll probably want to half the recipe. We currently have enough panzanella to feed the whole street.

Stir Fried Noodles

Out of all places to find a good recipe I found one in Men's Health. They have an article about how Chinese food has been bastardized in our country and they give a few recipes to reclaim a more authentic flavor. The recipe that I found interesting was the stir fried noodles. The original recipe called for shrimp, though, so I had to find a good replacement for that. Tofu wouldn't work because shrimp has such a strong flavor that I need to find a substitute that would also impart a strong flavor. I chose shiitake mushrooms because they do have a nice flavor that would mix well with this dish. I also added in some button mushrooms to give the dish a bit more weight. It isn't a bold dish but it does showcase the mushrooms and the broccoli well.

Stir Fried Noodles
1 lb egg noodles
1/2 lb shiitake mushrooms (caps sliced 1/2 inch)
1/2 lb portabella (or button) mushrooms sliced
1/2 Tbsp cornstarch
1/2 tsp sugar
1 Tbsp ground black pepper
1 1/2 Tbsp lt soy sauce
2 Tbsp neutral oil (peanut)
6 cloves minced garlic
1/2 lb broccoli florets
1 Tbsp dk soy sauce

Cook the noodles until tender and rinse with cold water
Combine mushrooms, cornstarch, sugar, pepper 1/2 tsp lt soy sauce
Heat oil in wok and cook garlic about 1 minute then add mushrooms with mixture for about 1-2 minutes.
Add the broccoli and stir for another minute then add the rest of the soy sauce and 1/2 cup water. Cook until broccoli is tender then add noodles and cook until everything is hot and coated in the sauce.

Now I just need to figure out a way to make the pork dumplings in the current issue vegetarian.

Lemon Thyme Iced Tea

On an impulse I bought a lemon thyme plant at the garden center. They had a deal by 12 herbs get $1.50 off each herb. What can I say? I am a sucker for promos like that. I had a trouble figuring out what to do with the lemon thyme but now I am becoming more creative in finding uses for it. One of my experiments actually turned out really well. I like iced tea. I like lemon in iced tea. Why not mix lemon thyme in iced tea? I wouldn't even think of putting regular thyme in iced tea (although that might be an interesting flavor mixed with other things) but I thought that the lemon in it would add nicely to an herbaceous green tea.
I was right!
It did work out very well. I did add some lemon verbena too just to add a heartier lemon punch to the iced tea but the underlying flavor of thyme turned out to add a great extra dimension to the tea. Another benefit is that lemon thyme has been shown to have a high level of antioxidants and it has antiviral and anti fungal effects.
Ingredients:
8 green tea bags
8 cups of water
3 sprigs lemon thyme
1 sprig lemon verbena
1/2 cup sugar

Directions:
Bring the water to a boil, remove from heat and add the tea bags and herbs. Let mixture steep ten minutes then dissolve the sugar. Let tea sit until it comes down to room temperature then refrigerate.

One thing I learned the hard way is to not add ice to hot tea. It turns the tea cloudy and does not look appetizing at all.

Weekend Recipe Roundup

Wow, it has been a hot one here in central Ohio. I haven't really felt like cooking much. I'm glad others have been able too but when it gets this freaking hot I'm lucky if I can even microwave myself something to eat. Stay tuned next week for when I post my recipe for a sweet and savory lemon iced tea that will help you to beat the heat.
Sunny Summer Squash Soup by Fatfree Vegan
Raspberry Cheesecake Muffins from Columbus Foodie
Blueberry Napoleon from Herbivoracious
Italian Herbed Tomato Bread from Fun Foods-On a Budget!
Blueberry Banana Bread from Urban Vegan

Pickled Cucumbers and Beans with Herbs

I finally found an easy way to use up the cucumbers I have growing in the backyard. The solution was right under my nose this whole time. You'll remember I told you about the amazing book The Herbal Kitchen: Cooking with Fragrance and Flavor that I bought awhile back well the answer to my problem was right there. Jerry Traunfeld has an amazing recipe for quick pickle vegetables. He recommends using cucumbers and a bunch of other vegetables but I really love pickled beans. I don't remember when I first had then or where but trust me, pickled beans are amazing. Another bonus to this recipe is the fact that I now have a use for lemon thyme (which I also have a ton of in the backyard).

Ingredients:
1/2 cup kosher salt
8 cups cool water
2 medium cucumbers (seeded and sliced into 1/2 moons)
1/2 lb green beans (trimmed)
2 cups white wine vinegar
3/4 cup sugar
2 cups water
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
3 bay leaves
a few sprigs of herbs. Mix two. I used a few sprigs each of lemon thyme and sage.

Directions:
dissolve the salt into 8 cups of cool water. Soak the cucumbers and the beans for 4-6 hours at room temperature. Drain the vegetables.

In a pot bring the vinegar, 2 cups water, sugar red pepper flakes, and bay leaves to a boil. Remove from heat and add the herbs. Let mixture cool then pour over the vegetables and refrigerate over night.

As you can see "quick" is a relative term for making this dish. Your active cooking time is not that long but the whole process does take a good amount of time. You definitely need to plan ahead but it is worth the effort.

I Baked A Souffle

Nothing like trying to run before I can walk, eh? I was flipping through my cookbooks yesterday trying to find something different for dinner when I came across a recipe for a spinach and mushroom souffle. It sounded interesting so I thought it would make a good dinner. I separated my eggs, I caramelized my mushrooms, and I beat my egg whites stiff. I planned and I got frantic and I got the ingredients combined and I got the whole mixture into the ramekins and into the oven. I even got the souffle to rise and not deflate (as you can tell by my slightly blurry picture). I sat down and I had a bite of that souffle and I thought "This is it?"

Really? I gave myself carpal tunnel syndrome beating egg whites by hand for this? Yes, it was good. Yes, the souffle was fluffy. Yes, it was gratifying to know I could do it but I could have gotten the same flavor with 1/4 of the work if I did scrambled eggs with mushrooms and spinach. At least I wouldn't have had sore wrists with scrambled eggs and I wouldn't have felt bad dipping the eggs in ketchup.

What is the appeal in a souffle? Is it just to show off that you can make one? Is it supposed to taste fancier and better? According to Gui Alinat in an article from the St. Petersburg Times eating a souffle should be like eating a cloud.

I don't want to eat a cloud. I want a dinner that fills me up. Maybe for dessert it would be good but a dinner souffle? I just don't get it. Is there a hungry man version that would actually fill me up? Maybe I will try the chocolate souffle recipe that is attached to the article. At least a light, airy dessert makes sense to me.

Hard Boiled Eggs

I guess in order to call oneself an accomplished cook one should be able to boil an egg. I have never boiled an egg until now. Hard to believe, I know, but true. I have never had a reason to boil an egg until now. Growing up my parents always boiled the eggs for Easter and I have never been one to just randomly eat boiled eggs. For me one of the best reasons to boil an egg would be so that I can make deviled eggs (and Chris actually makes an awesome deviled egg). I have found several ways of boiling an egg. I tried it two ways. First the "proper method" of placing a room temperature egg into a pan of water and covering it with 1 inch of water. Add a few Tbs of white vingar, bring to a boil, reduce to simmer then cook ten minutes (or 3 for soft boiled and 5 for medium boiled). After cooking put the hard boiled eggs in a dish of ice cold water until completely chilled.

I found the second method at ehow.com and it is very similar but I got a better result from it. It follows the same method of covering the eggs (however many) with water (and I did add the vinegar even though this recipe didn't call for it) and bring the eggs to a boil. Once it hits boil time 3 minutes and keep cooking. At the three minute mark pull the eggs off the heat and cover and let sit for 8 minutes. After 8 minutes plunge the eggs and soak in ice water then refrigerate.

Mostly the same but my egg from method 2 just seemed better to me. Want to be sure the egg is hard boiled? Set it on its side and spin. If it wobbles it is not done and if it spins without a wobble it is cooked.

What Do You Cook To?

Just out of curiosity I'm am wondering what other people cook to? Do you have the TV on? The radio? A CD? When I am cooking I really like to have music that makes me smile playing in the background. Lately (and I know you are going to mock me for this D.) I have been playing the soundtrack to Mamma Mia! while I cook. I can't help but smile when that music is playing. It just puts me in a good mood while I cook. Of course I do tend to splatter sauce when I wave the spoon in time to the music but that is what kitchen wipes are for.

Cafe Conversations

I have heard from some of you that you miss the cynical, bitter, and sarcastic me. I have to be honest and say that I miss that part of me a bit too. I really need an outlet for all that built up sarcasm so any of you who were familiar with the Cafe Conversations (that means you Gumby) then you may be happy to know that I have created a blog totally dedicated the stupidity that I deal with on a daily basis. So if you do need a good dose of sarcasm/ cynicism/ bitterness then you may enjoy my pain over at Bitchen Barista

Foodie Book Group: Serve the People

I think a book group for people who love food is a really good idea so I think I am going to start a virtual one. I just recently heard of a book called Serve the People: A Stir-Fried Journey Through China and I thought it would be very appropriate to read during August. Anyone who wants to is welcome to join in. In two weeks (August 17th) I'll do a post with a few observations/ questions/ comments and I'm looking forward to hearing your observations/ answers/ questions/ comments. Just leave a comment and let the conversation begin!

Weekend Recipe Roundup

Another weekend is here already. Dang time is flying by this summer. I have to tell you that I am wrecked today. Last night was the book release party for Stephanie Meyer's book Breaking Dawn and we were busy last night! I just have to say how cool it is to see kids actually get excited about a book.

Cilantro Zucchini Hummus from 28 Cooks
Black Bean and Corn Salsa from Veg Cooking Blog
Lemon Kefir Ice Cream from Chocolate and Zucchini
Herb Salad from 101 Cookbooks
Outrageous Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies from Fun Foods-On a Budget!